2 weeks and counting...

Yesterday I got the news from my counselor that I've been waiting for. I'm going to be starting T in 2 weeks. She told me that she should have my Letter for me when we meet for our next session, June 8th. The gender specialist at Seattle Counseling Service has to sign off on the Letter, so it's not a for sure thing just yet. However, my counselor said she didn't see any reason that the specialist wouldn't sign off. Two days later I have an appointment with my Seattle doctor.

It's a little strange to me that I have two general practitioners that I see, but the doctor I see here in Tacoma didn't feel comfortable prescribing testosterone. She specializes in women's health, so the occasion for her to prescribe T for anyone just doesn't occur. I'd have been the first.

Instead I'm seeing a doctor at Capitol Hill Medial. I would recommend any of the doctors at this office for trans patients. I have never felt anything but welcome and completely accepted at Capitol Hill Medical. Capitol Hill Medical is a practice that just opened up last August and specifically serves the GLBTA community.

The first time I called to make an appointment, the receptionist informed me that most of their patients were either gay, lesbian, bisexual, and/or transgender, and that if this made me uncomfortable, then this probably was not the best match for me (he worded it much better than I did). I found this sort of pro-active approach to serving the GLBT community extremely refreshing. It wasn't just a passive sort of "We won't discriminate against you", but rather "You are the patient we want to serve." The practice comprises of 3 doctors, all men, probably all gay (thought that may just by an assumption on my part), and all of whom see trans patients and are willing to help them with transitioning. If all goes well with getting my Letter, I'll get my first injection of testosterone on June 10th. Believe me, I'm counting down the days...

Domestic Partnership

Laura and I are officially domestic partners now with my new name change.  Once I get my gender designation changed however, we'll probably have to get legally married.  I don't want to give the impression that we don't want to get legally married.  We do.  We don't like the idea that we'll "have" to get married in order for me to continue to get benefits etc.  It just seems very backwards to us that because I could be legally diagnosed with a mental disorder, all of a sudden two people who are biologically female can get married in a state with a Defense of Marriage Act in place.

Update 5-25-09

Tomorrow I have another appointment with my counselor.  I've actually had one appointment since I last posted.  I asked her the last time we met if she could give me a timeline for when i'll start T.  She said she couldn't since she doesn't actually write sign off on the Letter.  What she does is make a case to the Gender Specialist at Seattle Counseling Service.  The Gender Specialist then signs off on the Letter (or not).  I'm hoping that tomorrow she'll be able to give me a more definitive timeline.  I'm trying not to get my hope up though.  It'll be a major disappointment if I have to go yet another two weeks wondering when it's going to happen.

Counseling

I still haven't started taking Testosterone (T) yet.  I was supposed to start a week from yesterday, but I was assigned a new intern for my counseling, which pushed back my schedule a bit.  I don't actually know when I'm going to start at this point, but I'm hoping within a month.  It's very frustrating not having a timeline anymore.

Since most of you probably don't know what the process is for starting T, I'm going to take this opportunity to go over it.

The first step is figuring out that you're transgendered and that you want to transition.  Not everyone does decide to transition.  For some people deciding that you want to transition can be the biggest step of all.  For others, it's something they've known their whole lives.

From here there are two steps a guy can take.

One step, is to speak directly with a physician who will prescribe Testosterone.  This is not the most common avenue for obtaining a prescription for T.  For one, it's very difficult to find a doctor who knows much about how T will affect their FTM patient.  If for some reason a doctor doesn't know much about it, but is open minded and willing to learn, often the patient will have to teach the doctor.  Transpeople who want to transition, have often done extensive research into the effects of the hormones they need to take.  In many areas they are well equipped to teach others, however, most are still not trained medical professionals.  So, essentially, the patient ends up dishing out quite a bit of money to teach their physician how to treat them.  Most physicians are not comfortable with this arrangement (understandably), but if there are no other options and they feel strongly about helping their patient some doctors will do what they can and learn along the way.  This approach completely legal, if not recommended.  Of course, someone has to be the first in their area.

The second option after figuring out that you want to transition, is finding a trans-friendly therapist/counselor who will write your "letter".  You then take this letter to a physician who prescribes you T and monitors your physical health.  The physician quite possibly is not any better informed or trained than any doctor, but because their patient went through a therapist first it's possible they might have access to additional information.

This process basically follows the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care (SOC).  "Standards of care for gender identity disorders are non-binding protocols outlining the usual treatment for individuals who wish to undergo hormonal or surgical transition to the other sex. Clinicians' decisions regarding patients' treatment are often influenced by this standard of care (SOC)." (see this wikipedia article for more info and reference)

Your letter is basically a letter, signed by a licensed mental health professional, stating that you desire to transition from one sex to the other, and that your reasons for doing so are legitimate (in other words, you're not schizophrenic).  It used to be that mental health professionals would write a letter officially diagnosing you with Gender Identity Disorder (GID), for which the treatment is to transition.  This practice has been slowly changing.  Being diagnosed with a mental illness can be extremely hurtful, especially when no illness is actually present.  Many mental health professionals these days consider it enough, simply to say that their patient is of sound enough mind to make this sort of major decision.  This is the practice at Seattle Counseling Service (a GLBT focused counseling center), where I'm going to obtain my letter.

It's preferable to find a counselor who has done counseling for people who want to transition before for much the same reasons as finding a doctor who has helped other clients transition before.  But again someone has to be the first, and if the counselor is open-minded it's important to weigh having experience in trans issues against a counselor/client relationship that may already be well forged.

There is actually a third option for obtaining T, which is to obtain it illegally, without a prescription.  This method is not recommended for all the usual reasons taking controlled substances without a prescription isn't recommended.

According the SOC (also used internationally) 3 months of counseling are recommended before issuing a letter.  My three month mark would have been this Monday (5/11), but the intern I was seeing ended her internship and left Seattle Counseling.  I saw my new intern only last week.  Understandably, she felt the need to get to know me a bit better before writing my letter, so I'll just have to wait and see if she can give a me timeline the next time we meet.

I'm now legal!

I just want to let you all know that I am now legally, Henry Lee Heather Waymack.  I actually got my named changed a couple weeks ago, but I've been pretty busy, so I haven't had time to post anything.

The process was pretty simple as you would expect for a name change.  Fill out the paperwork, go into court, tell a judge you're not changing your name for fraudulent reasons, then pay the $117 fee.  Initially, I thought $117 was a lot, until I heard, from my friend Kyle, that it costs closer to $450 in California!

Gender Designation Change 1.0

Yesterday was my transman social group.  We meet the first and third Tuesday of each month.  Kyle (a friend and co-facilitator for the group) and I had some time to kill waiting for other folks to show up, so we decided to go online and see what was involved in getting my gender designation changed in Washington.  Kyle's from California, so his process in terms of paperwork was a bit different from what mine will be.  We were both please to note that the process in Washington is actually fairly easy and straight forward.

Changine your official gender designation is much easier in WA than CA. According to the Ingersoll Gender Center (www.ingersollcenter.org), all that's required is to have a licensed professional write a letter stating that you are undergoing "appropriate clinical treatment" for Gender Identity Disorder.  The professional who writes the letter can be a medical professional or mental health professional, depending on the treatment to which they're referring (hormones, counseling, and/or surgery).  Besides, this letter all that is required is the expected documents verifying that you are who you say you are (birth certificate, etc.)  Additionally, you can apply for a name change at the same time as changing your gender designation, saving money and time.

Just a quick note about "appropriate clinical treatment" for Gender Identity Disorder or Gender Identity Dysphoria (either way GID).  Being slapped with a mental disorder is a spot of a fair amount of contention (understandably) in the trans community.  There are many pros and cons to being labeled with GID which I won't go into at the moment.  I will say that I don't regard myself as having a mental disorder.  I don't think there is anything wrong with me, nor do many mental health professionals who provide counseling for GID.

WELCOME!

Hello. I just want to say welcome to my trans-blog!

Okay, so initially, it'll be centered around my transition from female-to-male (FTM), but in the long term will probably just become a blog about Laura's and my life in general.

Initially I'm hoping to help people understand the process of transitioning and understand some of the obstacles that transpeople face in life. I will try to provide resources you can use to look information up on your own or find the answer to any questions you may have. If you have any personal questions for me about my transition, I want you know that you are more than welcome to ask any questions (and mean ANY) you want. I know you all well enough to know, I can trust you to be respectful.

Sometimes, Laura may post as well.

To start off, I just want to go over some key terms I'll probably use. Sometimes, I'll use these terms out of the context list below if I'm referring to a particular source that uses them differently.

• sex - refers to one's biological sex.
  
• gender - refers to how one feels and sees oneself fitting their given culture.
  
• FTM - female-to-male transgender person.
  
• MTF - male-to-female transgender person.
  
• Transman - female-to-male transgender person.
• Transwoman - male-to-female transgender person.
• Transgender - an umbrella term for anyone who considers themselves someone who crosses conventional or cultural/societal gender boundaries.
  
• Transsexual - someone who plans to permanently alter their physical appearance through surgery and hormones to change sexes. Usually this will also include people who alter their bodies through hormones only.
• Cisgender - someone who is not transgendered.
• Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual/Heterosexual/etc. - these are designations that refer to attraction only. This may seem obvious, but they have no bearing at all on how someone perceives their own gender. There are just as many (some say more) transmen out there who are attracted to men, thus "gay", as there are transmen who are attracted to women, thus heterosexual. Likewise a transwoman attracted to women might consider herself a lesbian. A transwoman attracted to men would probably consider herself heterosexual.
• Top Surgery - refers to surgery performed on the chest to remove breast and surgically sculpt a transman's chest to resemble a typical male chest. Essentially a double mastectomy. The equivalent for transwomen would be breast enhancements.
• Bottom Surgery - refers to surgery performed to alter the genitals of the transperson to more closely resemble the genitals of the gender they feels themselves to be.
• T - this is a shortening of the word testosterone. It's a long word to write, and just as long to say, so often, I'll simply say "T". Testosterone is the hormone I'll be taking as part of my transition. It's also, what will cause the majority of the changes in my body.

Many of these designations (gay, lesbian, transgender) are ultimately just labels that we put on people. It's important to remember that while we may think someone fits into a particular category, they may not see themselves are part of that category. Hopefully, I haven't left any major terms off, but if I have I'll be sure to fill them in as I think of them.

I hope you all enjoy this blog and find it informative. I know I'll enjoy updating it.

- Henry Lee Heather Waymack